Sometimes ghosts return.
When you are being haunted by a ghost in this day and age it’s when someone who you previously used to sleep with or be “involved’ with reappears after a prolonged period of the silent treatment/ghosting. Previously it used to mean that you were, in fact, being haunted. People have ways of keeping tabs on you – they can pop in and out, unfortunately reminding you of their existence even though after the semi-brutal fade out. It can be really incredibly annoying and hurtful.
People can haunt you for one of a few reasons, but it’s important to be aware of the things that can allow it to happen or continue, which are as follows – connection, control and consistency.
1. Connection – Do not bother them, do not answer, do not reply and do not under any circumstance give them the satisfaction of a double text. Leave it be, let them look, let them come after you if that is what they choose to do. Do not stoop to their level, you are the not the booty call that will be made an ars of. Erase all presence.
2. Control – Take the upper hand, unfollow them or mute them and do whatever it takes to keep them at bay. Social media is both a blessing and a curse in the way that it can give your friends a window into your life, but it also can invite those who are perhaps not so welcome – people can twist things they see especially when they have a grudge or like to try and paint you in a particular light.
3. Consistency – Do not waddle back like a child into open arms. If you choose to go away then stay away; like that waddling child, you need to establish boundaries even if the toys are thrown out of the pram. It can be difficult to take a break from social media or checking up on people yourself as it can become something of a habit, but it needs to be done. If they chose to leave your life then there was a reason for it, whether it was well-intentioned or not. Leave them be.
Sometimes people just do it for the hell of it. Some people are simply really mean, for no reason other than that they just aren’t very nice people. Call in the metaphorical priest and perform that social exorcism. Rise above.