One night stands seem to be controversial whichever way you look at them (kind of like marmite). It seems very hard to be sexually active and not attract strong opinions – it’s either too much and too often or too little and not enough, if you’re open about things eg. getting tested, it’s out of the ordinary or gross but if you’re not tested then you are equally as gross. Experiences, repulsive or not, can make you a seasoned expert in the ways of boning – so find out what you like and more importantly what you don’t. Below are some important things I’ve learnt about the male species and sleeping with them.
Whether you’re sober or not, or just feeling silly, consent is a very, VERY important one. Outline what you’re into, outline what you’re not. Say no. Say yes. Don’t hold back. If you don’t like what you see (metaphorically speaking) get the hell out of there.
2. Have fun
Experiment. Mess around. Make it fun. Laugh. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Not every sexual experience has to be a romantic Titanic car scene. Mix it up – toys, location, lingerie? Whatever tickles your pickle. Literally.
3. Be comfortable
You don’t owe anyone anything. Don’t feel guilted into anything – sexual or not. Be yourself and do not change anything about yourself for anyone, you will be most happy that way. Think of yourself as the girl out of stardust, you shine when you’re most happy. Shine with all the sexy dust you can muster.
The big list or the little list does not matter. Which are you? Nope, no one cares (at least they shouldn’t). It can be something fun you talk about with your girlfriends, but that’s all it should really be – lighthearted and fun. If he or she or they treat you differently because of how many people you have slept with, or not slept with for that matter, then abandon ship – judgement ain’t welcome here. Romantically or otherwise, do not waste your time on people who cannot keep their backwards opinions to themselves.
Yeah, yeah I know what I just said about judgement, but pay attention to what people say about others. Look at how they are around others, especially other potential partners or previous partners. Always make your own decisions about people’s characters, but if you see patterns start to form then take notes. A snake can shed its skin but it won’t make it a donkey.
6. Worth it
Make sure it’s worth it. If you’ll see him or her every day and cringe at the thought of what you did or perhaps didn’t get round to doing then perhaps call a rain check. It’s alright to live a little, but spare yourself the wrong kind of toe-curling.
What are your rules, do you even have any? What are your views on casual sex? Ask the questions you want. Mutually understand what you want to do. Stay safe and stay happy.